TWO POEMS

and the boulder says

kid it’s all just a happy accident

the world loves its balance it’ll

crash down on you too someday

a lucky       like you does not the

world warrant dirty stupid 

messy sloppy         unshaven legs

                              stained in a church girl shoes

                        untied         can’t make up her mind

                                 wants the world but can’t take it

                                crumb                      of many names

      without   a home  

                                                                                                                 and i say

yes.

                                                                             i carry this with me

                                                                             i am acutely aware of my

place in things. i know that

                                                                             the world is not meant to carry

the whole of me.

i want to forget how

the sky looks when it

snows. i want to forget

how all things linger.

i want to become a maze

or a cemetery or a clenched

fist. i want to become a tomb for my dead cat. a picnic table.

a crater. i want to become anything but a girl. i want to look into the sun and not flinch. i want to                                                                                                                    become wilderness. i want to be a

deer in the rain. a bike rack. an

electrical box. i want to unspool my

insides.

i want to fit in this world and mean it.

THE MOON SAYS SHE’S GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO LIVE

& WE’RE ON A COUCH IN NAMPA

BEHIND A DUMPSTER LISTENING TO ALL THE WAYS WE HAVE SURVIVED

THE RAILROAD TRACKS BEHIND US ARE IMPATIENT & SCREAMING

RECKLESS I LOVE YOU’S & GOODBYE’S

*********

& HALF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE THERE ARE DEAD TO US NOW ANYWAY,

& ISN’T THERE SOME KIND OF IRNOY IN MEETING YOUR BEST FRIEND IN AN

ABANDONED PARKING LOT

WHERE WE SCRAPED OFF ALL THE MEN WHO HAVE HURT US

& NOW IT IS 2 AM & SUMMER IS KILLING US ALL

WE HAVEN’T DEFROSTED FROM THE TRAUMA OF WINTER

I DON’T KNOW IF WE WILL ANYTIME SOON

*******

SO WE DRIVE TO THE BENCH THAT OVERLOOKS THE CITY &

WE WATCH THE WAY THE MOUNTAINS LAUGH TEETH FIRST

& I MEMORIZE EVERYTHING THEY SAY SO THAT I DO NOT

FORGET THIS MOMENT

IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE THE ONLY ONES STILL LIVING & FOR ONCE

THAT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE SUCH A BAD THING

Kate Wilson lives in Salt Lake City, Utah and is a senior at Westminster College. They are the Editor in Chief of Issue 56 of ellipsis… Literature & Art, work as an interview correspondent with Half Mystic Press and Royal Rose, and serve as a poetry editor for Rose Quartz Magazine. Three of their poems were selected for the Academy of American Poets Student Poetry Prize and their work can be found with Pressure Gauge Press, The Albion Review, and Parentheses Journal, among others.